State of mind..

Today I feel like a punching bag which is not supposed to feel any pain. I can also relate with a burnt tongue which can’t feel any taste.

I neither feel sorrow nor joy, neither love & excitement nor hatred & revenge. I can’t feel the pain even though it is very much there. I can’t cry. I can’t also get angry any more. May be I’m incapable of feeling any emotions.

May be all my feelings have been evaporated, or dried – which is more likely. I don’t feel any of them, or perhaps all of them – such that I can’t understand my state of mind. Perhaps it is vacuum in my mind, or it could even be a storm.

Whatever it is, I don’t understand it. It is just draining me every moment. I can’t do anything about it...

Betrayed..

I look back and wonder how I was able to write such lenghty paragraphs. I could go on and on and on, as if I was talking to someone who just wants to listen to me.

Writing is not easy and I admit I didn't pay attention towards developing my writing skills. Had I had not stopped, I could have moved a step ahead. But as always, I didn't keep the promise I made to myself. I didn't make writing a habit, a part of my life.

Now, I am afraid I don't trust myself anymore. I don't believe when I tell myself that I shall write more often. Will you trust me?

Book reviews: 2 States (Chetan Bhagat), The Zoya Factor (Anuja Chauhan) and two more..!!

I didn't find time to even think about writing lately. The itching sensation -of posting reviews of the books I read- was bugging me. I started writing this post in January 2009, and I am completing it today.!! I thank '2 States - by Chetan Bhagat' to give me the kick I needed to complete this post and publish it. Here are the books I read in past few months that I wanted to talk about:

2 States (by Chetan Bhagat):

Must read for those who are aspiring to get married and for their parents as well. I am a big fan of Chetan's, and this book has not let me down. I completed the entire book in 2 sittings, in one night.
I am sure everyone would relate to the story of Krish and Ananya (the lead characters of the book). Chetan has effectively depicted the state of mind of a guy who loves his girlfriend, as well as his parents. He shows how difficult it can get to make both the sides happy. Same for a girl too..
I wish this book gets translated in all the languages of India ASAP.

Veronika decides to die (by Paulo Coelho):
Poulo Coelho rocks!! It is an awesome book for those who are suffering from Nervous Breakdown. If you have liked Bluffmaster, you'll definitely like this book.

The Zoya Factor (by Anuja Chauhan):
I really liked this book. You can enjoy reading this book even if you don't like cricket. It is funny, witty and romantic (did I miss anything?). In addition, it is a thick book, so you can say you've got value for your money! ;)
The critic within me doesn't wake up till I'm enjoying the book/movie. It didn't wake up while reading this book either.

The White Tiger (by Aravind Adiga):
I wonder how come this book won the Booker prize. It seems everyone who is sarcastic and pessimistic about India wins appreciation from all over the world. (Yes, the same is true for 'Slumdog Millionarie'.) The story of the book is exactly like an old hindi movie where a poor gets screwed by the rich 'Zameendar' and he kills him when he gets a chance.
I was kinda happy in the beginning of the book as the author condemned the socio-economic divide and the racism in India. I also liked his way of storytelling. But it turned out to be a disaster at the end. It couldn't have ended with a more negative note. He glorifies the criminal just like our Hindi films do. I would certainly not recommend this book!

Do or Die

There used to be a time when my father used to visit Delhi for shopping. The capital of India wasn't a safe heaven even then. There were a few occasions when we used to be worried about his safety due to tensed political situations, and bomb-blasts. The reach of terrorism was only upto Kashmir and big cities like Delhi and Mumbai, but recent incidents of terror attacks show that even small towns aren't safe. The entire world has become vulnerable to terror-attacks. We are watching the new face of terrorism. Terrorists are becoming tech-savvy, even highly educated people are executing terror attacks.

on 26th November 2008, Mumbai was taken aback once again by the deadliest and the bloodiest terrorist-attack in the history of India. Few guys sailed down to The Gateway of India with explosives and machine-guns. They took hundreds of lives at various places like Taj, Oberoi, CST, Kama Hosp, JJ Hosp, Ville Parle and finally, lost their own lives. That's their latest style: fidayeen attacks.

Hundreds of precious lives were lost. Many families were wounded. Few of them were our guests - from foreign countries, some were our brave policemen and commandos. Innocent people - men, women, and children - lost their lives and left thousands of relatives crying. And we were left horrified, scared and angry. How could such thing happen? How can there be no security at all? Isn't it possible to live in a fearless India? Its time for us to think about it. Everyone is trying to find the answers.

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We saw a lot of discussions and talk shows discussing the causes and remedies of such terror-attacks, but I wasn't convinced by the solutions the 'experts' came up with. Everyone talked only about strong laws, well equipped and active police, efficient judiciary system and better coordination between intelligence agencies and various forces. Well, these things are certainly needed, but we need something more. Something we've never thought about. I, surprisingly, didn't hear a single voice of concern against the 'hatred'. I think terrorism and hatred are synonyms.

'Hatred' is the deadly poison that if not controlled, can kill this world. We always hear about clashes between people of different religion, color, ethnicity, country, language, .. the list is ever increasing. Instead of fighting hatred, we are nurturing it, and that's why terrorism is increasing. Hate can't be fought with hatred within. Being strong is of course necessary, but being sensitive is must.

Another reason, I think, of terrorism is 'pessimism' amongst under-privileged ones of the society. Pessimism is often cultivated in absence of strong positive motivation and inefficient governance. Under-privileged are often trapped under the criminal-mindset. They usually end up hating the privileged ones. They blame only the society and the society for their own problems. Ignorance of self-worth prompts one to be pessimistic and causes hatred for those who are privileged. This is the time when one needs optimism, motivation and positive vibes. Motivational religious-thoughts and proactive governance can effectively kick negative thoughts out of one's mind and prevent him from hating others.

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Why have so many terror-attacks happened in India?

The simplest answer would be: Because our system has failed.

• It has failed to protect its own people.
• Despite of imposing infinite number of reservations and quotas, it has failed to bring social equality.
• It has also failed to spread the benefits of economic growth equally to everyone.
• It has failed to get a place into the hearts of its own people - the very people that make it. People no more have trust into this system.

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How can we fight terrorism?

Immediate measures:

• Sharp intelligence
• Strong & unbiased police force
• Efficient judiciary
• Better coordination between intelligence agencies and various forces

Long-term answers:

• Love is the answer to Hatred: Let us start spreading the message of love and peace amongst people. Let's say that 'we don't want wars, we love each other'.
• No more divisive politics: Politics has always divided us, into groups based on religion, cast, region and language. Let's hold each other's hands tightly and tell them that 'we are united, you can't divide us'.
• Education: One must learn that 'terrorism' is not the way to go. One must experience the joy of living in peaceful world, where everyone has a sweet smile on his/her face.
• Motivating religious leadership: Religion has become a bad word today, because of its representatives. People are going away from it, because there are very few religious leaders who teach us the very reason why religion is necessary. It teaches us that 'Other is not other, he is my divine brother. We all are children of one God. How can I kill my own brother/sister?'. We need religious leaders that bring people together.
• Economic prosperity: An economically stable person is less prone to hating the world. Living good life makes more sense to him rather than taking lives.

Think about it..

Movie Review: Hello (Hell....Oh!!)

Disappointing - that's my first reaction to the movie which is based on the novel - One night at the call center by Chetan Bhagat. The author must have regretted giving such a good story to Atul Agnihotri. It's extremely ill-treated and annoying (most of the times). Why the hell did he turn it to a irritating-comedy?

I have read the book and liked it, but the movie is just intolerable. The book itself is so filmy that Atul Agnihotri - without applying his mind - needed to just copy it properly. It should be remade by someone more sensible.

Here are the problems I have with the movie:

Poor Casting:

• How can one imagine Sohail Khan as Vroom and Gul Panag as Priyanka. The rest is just fine (who cares about them anyways?). Sohail Khan doesn't even touch Vroom's character. Vroom is a guy who is mature and immature, angry and content, hard and soft - all at the same time.
• Dalip Tahil (as Bakshi) should have at least done some homework and should've tried looking like a manager and not like a joker - who unsuccessfully tries to make us laugh at his foolish acts.
• Coming to the important character, Priyanka. Gul Panag doesn't sound the obvious choice. She looks little to old to fit into the character of Priyanka - who looks just like a girl-next-door, but actually is a very forward, open-minded girl. Gul Panag certainly looks beautiful, but she has to learn acting.
• Amruta Arora as Radhika also doesn't sound the obvious choice. I feel, she doesn't give justice to the character. And Arbaaz also had a small role to play. It looked more like 'Khan Family' movie.
• There was no need of Suresh Menon in the movie. He just wasted time, which could have been used for some important scenes that were missed out.

Technical Mistakes:

• Throughout the movie, we can see only 7 people in the call centre, where are the others? Only at the end, we saw few people who even didn't look like call centre employees.
• The phone tapping incident also did not sound technically perfect. It's better described in the book.
  

Scene Selection: So many interesting scenes were missed out.

• The hotel scene where Priyanka fakes as an Officer (of some kinda women liberation organization, or whatever) to help a troubled lady who was being harassed by her husband and her mother-in-law. That was damn funny.
• And when Shyam finds Ganesh cheating on her ex, by googling out his photos. The movie made the character of Shyam even weaker by not giving him this scene.
  

Ill-Treatment:

• You don't have to make Bakshi look like a stupid who sits on the top just because he says "God bless America". Gimme a break, we're not fools.
• The 'confined spaces' (for those who've read the book) scene was also made funny!! Doesn't look romantic at all (rather erotic). Both were looking fool and desperate without any passion.
• And the devil scene (asking Shyam to tap the phone) was also stretched beyond my limits. I felt there was no editor of the movie at times.
• The songs appeared from nowhere. There was no need of a song, again, that time could've been utilized. Song sets were looking very old-fashioned, and I didn't even find the music so happening.
• Any act didn't look natural, I couldn't involve myself into the scenes at any given time during the movie. I wish there were at-least few scenes that would make me feel good about the movie.
  

I can write more, but I'm feeling tired of criticizing. So, final words: All-in-all - a 'thumbs down'. Please be careful while giving your stories Chetan. This is a humble request from all your book-lovers. And I'm sure Atul Agnihotri learns from his mistakes.

Wait for me... Please!!

• Scene 1:

I am walking 10-15 steps behind her. She walks in to the elevator. By this
time, I'd increase my pace almost twofold; start taking big leaps towards the
elevator.

At the same time, in the elevator, she presses the button to her floor. In
no time she presses the button [><] (for 'immediate closing') as she can't wait anymore to start her journey towards her destination. I am reaching the elevator almost running, and I end up seeing the elevator just leaving me, teasing me, laughing at me.

• Scene 2:

Lunch time was just over. The birds were returning to their nests (I mean
desks). A big crowd was waiting at ground floor for elevators (as our canteen is
located there). Unaware of the situation, I - a poor boy - made a mistake by
travelling by elevator against the flow. I was going downstairs while everyone
was coming up.

I was alone in the elevator. The countdown began... 3 - 2 - 1 - 0. There
you go, my senses told me. The door opened slowly. Oh my God, I realized I had
made a mistake. It wasn't that nobody wanted me to come out, rather they wanted
to get in asap. As if they were the soldiers of the opponent army ready to crush
me. I was the lonely fighter.

I thought of surrendering to them, going along with them to my floor
again. But I had no choice. I had to get out of the elevator as it was urgent.
This is not gonna be easy, I told myself. I fought hard and won my battle.
It was a herculean task indeed.

Am I the only one who gets annoyed by such incidents? I tried finding out on Google. I found many people pouring their frustrations out into their blogs. I also found a nice article on Elevator Etiquette.

• Are we so impatient? Or
• We just don't care? Or
• We haven't paid attention to it yet?

Lets think about it.

Why do people die in Road Accidents?

I have not been able to think of anything but an accident sight since I saw a dead body at a road mishap last night. The head of the victim became flat as it apparently was crushed by some heavy vehicle. Blood was spread around. I glanced at him for not more than 10-15 seconds, but I was so horrified, that I was on the verge of crying.

I have to write this as I can't concentrate on anything. I will start from an hour before I went thru this sudden trauma.

It was Yesterday, 6th October 2008 being one of my longest days in office. I left office past 22:00 hrs, which is not usual. I was hungry, tired and worried about getting a bus that would take me either to Koperkhairane or anywhere near. I bought a small packet of banana chips from a Paan-wala and marched towards the bus stop. For last couple of months since I'm at Powai branch of my company, every evening I wonder why there are no street lights around such a busy signal. The only light I could see came from the Head Lamps of the vehicles flashing directly into my eyes, trying to make me blind.

Finally I felt relieved as I reached the bus stop after crossing such a busy road. The bus to Mulund arrived soon and I rushed to get in. Those who live in Mumbai know the system of boarding the BEST buses. You have to be an athlete to get into the bus. The bus doesn't actually stop at the bus stop, it just slows down, those who want to get in almost have to run; and those who wanna get down also need to run for a while to slow their momentum down, thus to get balance. I somehow managed to get a place at the last seat, disturbing the duo who were enjoying the luxury of sitting on space of three persons. One of them resisted a lot and finally gave up.

The road was relatively quiet as there was not much traffic. I finished my banana chips. Our bus reached IIT in just 15 minutes, where the traffic was moving slowly till the bus halted on the slope towards Gandhinagar. The expansion of that road is in progress. I waited for the bus to resume the voyage that had just begun. Anxiety took over my mind and I kept looking at my watch thousand times a minute. It was 22:40 and I was still not even half way through. I heard people saying that the bus won't move soon as some accident has taken place ahead. I followed others who got down from the bus and started walking towards the nearest bus stop, that is Gandhinagar.

After walking for 5 minutes, making my way through jungle of vehicles, I crossed the first vehicle that was standing in front of the sight. I sensed that I've reached the accident place. I saw a police jeep and few police men. A very badly damaged Maruti-Swift and a crushed auto-rickshaw were also resting. I was least bothered about what could have happened. The delicious PavBhaji at SriDevi hotel was on my mind. So, with least curiosity, I carelessly glanced at my right side. I saw a person lying on the divider of the road. His head was not looking normal, I couldn't understand anything and watched carefully this time. I couldn't believe my eyes. His head was flattened!!!

'I was shocked' - would be an understatement. I had not seen such brutal death before. I wanted to forget what I had seen, but couldn't help it. Those images kept coming in front of my eyes. My blood pressure decreased and my hunger died. I started walking as fast as possible, gathering all my courage towards the bus stop. Thousands of thoughts took over my mind. I prayed God for giving 'peace to his soul'. I urged him not to let this happen to anybody. I didn't want to think, but I couldn't resist the scary thought - if I would have been at his place, what would happen to my family, my love, my friends. I was crying from within, but I had to control my tears as there were many people around me.

I was so afraid of death that I dropped the idea of going by an auto-rickshaw from there to Airoli Bridge. I went to Gandhinagar bus stop. There were about 50 people there. Many were discussing about the accident. I wanted to run away from those thoughts, but they were not leaving me. I helplessly stood there waiting for the bus. I got the bus upto Bhandup-Sonapur. I would again need to change the bus from there. My life sucks, I told myself, and to the God.

My heart denied the idea of having food, but my mind kept insisting me to buy some food as it was around 23:20 then. I listened to my mind half-heartedly. After waiting for 10 mins, I finally got the bus upto Bonkode, the place where I live. I reached home at midnight, changed, washed face for a few minutes and sat quietly.

I asked myself, how we can stop people dying from road accidents. I often thought of writing a post on our (yes, Indians') Traffic Manners. The idea took birth in my mind immediately after coming back from Europe. I started getting annoyed by our traffic sense.

• Vehicle drivers don't respect pedestrians and bicycle-riders. Absolutely NO Respect. Pedestrians think they're risking their lives while crossing a road.
• Nobody understands what on earth 'Zebra Crossing' is.
• School kids ride their bicycles without having known the traffic rules.
• In some areas in Mumbai, people ride their two-wheelers on footpaths!!!
• Auto-rickshaw drivers are entitled to break all the traffic rules.
• Public Transport drivers think the road belongs to them. They are entitled to break all the traffic rules. I can understand their frustration, as I see the conditions of Buses and Roads given to them, but don't forget: rules are rules.

I googled on people dying by road accidents in India, and I found out an article that says that

According to the latest official statistics from the Indian government, over
100,000 people were killed in road accidents in India in 2006 and nearly
half a million were injured. That means one accident per minute and a fatal
one every five minutes.

Isn't there something we can do?

Yes. Surely we can. But we will have to start from our own home. We must make sure we & our family members are not breaking any traffic rules.

• We can teach our younger generation traffic manners by example. Volunteers can make some movie/presentation, go to schools and teach kids by demonstrating. Parents can also be included in such exercise as they also need to learn this. We can urge them not to hand their young children keys of vehicles.
• We can also adopt Gandhigiri to teach people to pay respect to pedestrians, make them understand what a Zebra crossing is, why not to break signals. According to my knowledge, this experiment has worked successfully in Pune on a Gandhi Jayanti.
• We can ask the government leaders (whom we've chosen), to make good roads with "traffic signals for pedestrians".
• We can remind people that 'Not Wearing Helmet' is not a display of Bravery. There are lots of things for showing how brave you are.
• Various forms of media can also help creating awareness.

I'm feeling much better now, but I can never forget this incident. I could keep on writing as I am still thinking over and over about that accident. I'm paying tribute to the victim..